Guest Post: Wrong on Purpose?

Today’s post is going to be a little different. Today I am posting a piece of writing from my husband Miguel. Enjoy and share your thoughts in the comment or on my Facebook page.

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Why are we always wrong? Do we make decisions and act out purposely, knowing outcomes? Outcomes that put us into positions where we have to explain why we are wrong. Or do we make these decisions knowing they are wrong but act them out anyways in defiance? Is it defiance or do we just not care? Are we just human?

There are so many decisions we make throughout a day. Every decision we make comes with thoughts from our conscience. But why do we ignore the obvious sometimes to follow the little devil on our shoulder? With this ignorance comes a butterfly effect that touches everyone and everything around us.

I have made many bad decisions over the years where I’ve had to explain to myself or to someone else that I was wrong and took the wrong route. When these bad decisions impact our loved ones is where the problem exists. Most of the decisions already have the outcomes drawn out for you so why be wrong in the first place. If you know where an action or decision will lead you then why take that route. I believe a careless, selfishness exists in everyone that wants to flirt with the bad regardless of the outcome. We as humans have a desire to push the envelope at a very young age. Our “terrible twos” (I say three is terrible) are the beginning of this when we test our parents and push limits to try and find how far we can go. In a relationship, boundaries and lines are drawn so that each side knows where and where not to step. Often these boundaries are tested and sometimes crossed.

I do believe we are human and all will continue to make mistakes but that many of these mistakes, whether subconsciously or purposely, are made in defiance of some thoughts we have bottled up in our minds. We all tend to hold on to something that may have impacted our thought process. But this is where the butterfly effect comes into play. When it comes to relationship, whether it’s your mother, your wife or friend, that person may have said something, or done something  that you found out about that has them explaining why they are wrong. Most of the time there is no explanation because they may not know but the action is stored. Then as time passes, most of us heal regardless but when a moment comes up where we have to make similar decisions, we may think about that action that impacted us and take the wrong route on our decision purposely. We test the boundary and for a moment, we don’t care what the outcome may be. “Hey, they did this so I’m going to do that”. This way of thinking is why we are wrong in the first place.

I believe a solution to this is talking about your issues immediately. If brought up in conversation or written in a letter, two people can work to sort out the issue, put it to bed and move on easier without something coming up again in the future. If two people are always open with each other and air out all the dirty laundry, then there won’t be anything to store. This then comes to the main point.

If we are always wrong then make things right to begin with. To explain to someone why you were wrong is now well past the fact that you chose to do wrong instead of doing what you know would be right. Why even get to that point where you have to choose which route to take and if the wrong route is taken, own up to it immediately so that an explanation of why you were wrong is not needed in the future. When we are explaining why we are wrong then you purposely chose that route. Something else is called an accident – common sense there. We can all accidentally be wrong but this usually needs no explaining to why you were wrong in the future.

We do purposely and sometimes defiantly choose to take wrong routes. We know the outcomes and chose to deal with the explanation of being wrong in the future. We are human and this act of pushing the envelope is in our nature but we are also adults. Don’t hold anything that will impact your decision making in the future. Express those issues you may have immediately. Your other person does not want to hear why you were wrong but why you made the decision in the first place. And if it was an act of defiance then express the root of your decision or express it before an issue comes to an “I was wrong” explanation.

We obviously care about our loved ones. We care about them enough to try and explain why we were wrong about something we did. We need to care and love them enough to not make those decisions but we are all human and shit happens. I don’t believe we all go around trying to hurt those we love on purpose all the time but it happens, mostly on a subconscious level. I do also believe that this can be greatly avoided with openness, taking time to talk about feelings and things that bother you and trust. A trust in each others complete transparency. All of this can avoid real issues where an explanation for any action is needed.

 

2 thoughts on “Guest Post: Wrong on Purpose?

  1. I do agree that openness can avoid alot of the pointless pain we ourselves and others through. I also understand the feeling as though you “just can’t”… like the speaking or writing the words your feeling have a bigger consequence than the result of the matter untold…. it’s a process… but the good thing is once you pull the thread.. the whole thing unravels… we simply clean up the mess and start fresh. I enjoyed this piece!

    Like

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